Ask Father: What is the difference between being ‘good’ and being ‘holy’?

Dear friend in Christ,

An excellent question!

I get frustrated when people tell me they are “a good person.”

Jesus never told anyone to be a good person. But He talked a lot about being holy.

Holiness means “to be set apart.” Being set apart means being different from the world - acting differently, thinking differently, speaking differently, behaving differently. What do people mean by saying they are a “good person?” I think it means “I haven’t killed anyone.” I think it’s a statement of a bare minimum of human decency, a vague moral standard by which people congratulate themselves for not being a horrible person. The Pharisees whom Jesus rebuked over and over again were definitely “good people.”

Being “a good person” is what people fall back on to reassure themselves when they are not willing to do the difficult work of becoming holy.

Please be assured, being a “good person” does not get one to heaven because being a “good person” is easy – just don’t kill anyone and, boom, you’re a “good person.” Being holy is a lot more difficult.

But here’s the best part: when you start trying to be holy, to conquer your ego and submit to God in every single detail of your life, you will be happier and have more peace inside than you ever thought possible. Don’t be a good person, be a holy person.

“You weren't a decent man and you didn't try your best. None of us were and none of us did.” – C.S. Lewis

“‘Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good--except God alone.’” Luke 18:19

June 21, 2020 - 12th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Dear Friends in Christ:

Things were going so well. We began our reopening. Staff was returning to their places. Life was getting back to “normal,” well, at least to some experience of normalcy. In many respects I was on cloud nine. People were back around. Father Federico and I were able to see people in the pews again! Even Fenway was happy to see people coming back to their offices again!

Then late last Friday I received a call from our Police Chief and just like that without warning of any kind we were in the valley of the shadow of death.

The Police Chief was here to inform me that there was a horrible accident in town and one of our young parishioners and a student in our school, Tristan Barhorst, had died from his injuries. And just like that we, as a family of faith, were veered off the path we thought was ours for the coming weeks and straight into the difficult, dark, unfamiliar, and heart-wrenching valley.

No years of priestly service, no Seminary formation, nothing could prepare someone for this experience. I immediately called Father Federico and said get ready there’s been a horrible tragedy and we have to go. Off we went. On the way Father and I talked. I shared that one of my professors in Seminary said sometimes you will be sent into situations and feel wholly inadequate but know you are not there on your own you are there to represent the Church and more importantly God. He called it the Ministry of Presence. And this was one of those moments.

That evening we not only visited the scene and spent time with those who were still there but we went to New Haven to the hospital to be there for Tristan’s family. Just to be a sign that God and the Church are with them in the midst of their grief. Just to do our part in helping them know they are not alone in this time of loss. Just to be present to them as their priests and friends.

It is one of the hardest experiences for a parish priest. We mourn too. We mourn the death of this young child, someone we know so well given his being a student in our parish school. The memories of Tristan flooded our minds. He was respectful, kind, caring, and truly Christ-like in so many ways.

But we cannot sit idle in our own grief, for we are priests. As we journeyed to the hospital that evening I remember while we were praying the rosary I was asking God to give us the strength to help everyone: his parents, his sister, his friends, his classmates, our school and our parish family. I remember beginning a list in my head of things we would need to start to plan to help people during the coming days.

What have I learned through this time? I have learned that God is there! He is there caring for these grieving parents through the outpouring of love and support from family and friends. He is there caring for Sienna, Tristan’s sister, through the care and love of her friends and schoolmates. He is there! Nothing, not even death, can ever separate us from the love of God! My friends, I have witnessed this reality these past few days.

A young death is a terrible reality. But from that reality, comes an empathy, a compassion, and a knowledge that is most visible when it is directed toward helping others in distress. And boy did the people of Cheshire come out to support them. It has truly been amazing to see the many people and businesses that have reached out to Tristan’s family and to our parish to see if there is anything they can do to help in this time of need. Even in the midst of this time of pain I am reminded how blessed I am to be the Pastor of this phenomenal family of faith in this amazing and caring community of Cheshire.

My prayer is for Christi and Tyler, and Sienna. My prayer is for all those who know their family and love them including our parish and school family. My prayer is for all those who have experienced the death of a young child. That all may know that God is with you during your time of loss, that your child was special and loved, that you may move on but you will never move past it nor forget your child and the impact they have had in the lives of others.

At the same time, as we deal with this tragic loss, we are still in the midst of phased in reopening of our offices and church. I am so grateful to our staff who are working a modified schedule in the coming days to begin to acclimate to returning to normal hours. The parish staff will return to normal hours beginning on July 6, 2020. It is my prayer that all will remain vigilant, adhere to safety rules and guidelines, and be here to serve you!

As announced last weekend: WE ARE HIRING! Saint Bridget of Sweden Parish has an opening in our Maintenance Department. Mr. Matthew Vitello who has been with us for many years, and recently was the Facilities and Grounds Coordinator, has accepted a position elsewhere and will leave our parish staff by the end of the month. We thank him for his years of service to our parish family. In particular, and on behalf of the priests who have served here with me, I thank Matt for his constant willingness to assist us in every which way through the past few years. Good luck and know our prayers accompany you.

We are looking for candidates seeking full-time employment to join our staff. The Facilities and Grounds Coordinator is responsible for managing the maintenance, housekeeping, and custodial staff in the maintaining of church buildings, parish school, rectories and all other buildings belonging to the parish to ensure that all facilities and grounds are clean and well-maintained. Any candidate interested is asked to contact the parish office at rectory@stbridgetcheshire.org for a more detailed job description.

SEND US YOUR RECIPES…SAINT BRIDGET OF SWEDEN PARISH COOKBOOK 2020…as we hear from so many during this time of pandemic, it has been a time we are all growing in our culinary expertise. If you have tuned in to our Casual Conversations live from our living room on Saturdays, you probably have noticed that a lot of inquiries have been made about what we have eaten, what we have cooked, and a cooking challenge has even arisen from these discussions!

That said, Father Federico and I thought it would be a great idea to take this time to create a Parish Cookbook with your family recipes or your favorites from this time of pandemic. I know cookbooks have been done in the past, but now seems like a perfect time to create a new one for our parish family.

Send your recipes to cookbook@stbridgetcheshire.org.

JUNE 30th DEADLINE…DON’T FORGET WE ARE LOOKING FOR THE YOUNG ARTIST AMONG US…We are holding another art contest! It is that time of year again when we need to prepare for our annual parish Christmas card. We are looking for children of all ages to design our parish Christmas card. Last year it was a huge hit. I heard from so many people how much they loved that we used artwork from one of our young parishioners. We invite all school-aged children to think of Christmas and send us their design. The winner’s artwork will be the cover of our parish Christmas card which is sent to all parishioners and friends of Saint Bridget of Sweden Parish. All artwork must be submitted to the rectory by June 30th for consideration! We look forward to many submissions!

A WORD OF CONGRATULATIONS…I received word late last week that two of our parishioners have completed programs offered through the Archdiocesan Catholic Biblical School! We offer happiest congratulations to April Brilvitch on completing four years of Biblical Studies and receiving the Advanced Certificate in Biblical Studies. April is one of the PreK4 teachers in St. Bridget School and an active member of our parish family. We also congratulate Patti Flynn-Harris on completing two years of Biblical Studies and receiving the Basic Certificate in Biblical Studies. Patti is chair of the Women’s Society and can be found volunteering in a multitude of ways throughout the parish.

If anyone is interested in engaging Scripture thoughtfully, comprehensively and prayerfully, so that your relationship to Jesus, Our Savior will grow beyond imagining please contact the Catholic Biblical School by visiting https://catholicedaohct.org/basic-information or contact them directly at

catholic.biblical.school@aohct.org.

As always, remember to pray for our parish family and ask God’s blessings upon us all in this time of pandemic. With the gracious intercession of Saint Bridget of Sweden, our Patroness, may we be united with one another in prayer! Please pray for me and know that I am praying for you!

It's Time to Examine Yourself

Do you like history class? It was one of my favorite subjects (along with anything that wasn't math), but I've heard from a lot of people that they didn't enjoy it much. Friends of mine have told me it's too dry, too boring, and too old. But here's a tough one for you: would history be more interesting if you got to live it? Experience it? Because that's what we're all doing right now.

Make no mistake about it, 2020 will be a year that some kid has to study 50 years from now in their history class. This has been a CRAZY year, with each month seemingly bringing another world-upending event. Political upheaval, Covid-19, racial unrest; you name it, 2020 has had it. Do you ever wonder what people who lived during important historical events thought or did? How they felt, what they changed? What they learned from these monumental events and periods?

News flash: we're those people. We are at a crossroads, a time where we have big choices to make that can significantly impact our lives for years to come. I'm sure you've all heard someone say "I hope we don't go back to normal," or some variant of that once or twice. While it's definitely cliché, it's based in truth. We have an opportunity to use this craziness to change our lives for the better moving forward.

Pre-Covid life was pretty busy, right? We were running back and forth, filling up our schedules with who knows what and leaving little to no time for intentional recharging. But now that being busy isn't a reality for many of us right now, what are we left with? Strip away the sports, the clubs, the office, the school, and what's left? Reminds me of that line from The Avengers: "Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?"

Now that all of the distractions are stripped away, we have to figure out what to do with ourselves. I propose a self-examination, and I'm not talking about playing doctor. I'm talking about an examination of your soul, life, and conscience. Sound familiar? It should! An Examination of Conscience is a great way to prepare for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and hopefully most of us have at least heard of this form of self-examination.

One of those people you likely heard about (but have perhaps forgotten) in history class was Socrates. He was a Greek philosopher who is widely considered to be the father of Western philosophy. While Socrates has many teachings that could fill entire blog posts (or history classes), I want to focus on one of his more popular dogmas: "The unexamined life is not worth living."

What does this mean? Socrates implies that life is deeper, more fulfilling, and more "worth living" if it is examined. But how do we examine our life? It's simple; you look at what is important to you as reflected in your words and actions. In Batman Begins, Batman tells his friend Rachel that "it's not who I am on the inside, but what I do that defines me." He's half right. Who we are on the inside DOES matter, but your actions go a long way in showing what's important to you!

Socrates argues that this type of examination vastly improves one's life, and you know what? He's absolutely right. While Socrates was not Catholic (Jesus had not come into the world yet during his time), he can still offer us insights that help us to grow spiritually. But he's not the only historical figure we're taking a look at this week...

St. Ignatius of Loyola is another proponent of examining oneself. He goes a step further, however, suggesting that the Daily Examen (a way of revisiting the day's events to search for God's presence and direction in our lives) was vital to a strong spiritual life. While we won't go through the whole Examen here, I will share with you its 5 steps if you're interested in trying:

Step 1: Become aware of God's presence

Step 2: Review the day with gratitude

Step 3: Pay attention to your emotions

Step 4: Choose one feature of the day and pray from it

Step 5: Look to tomorrow

Personally this is an effective tool for me. But whether the Examen itself works for you or not, the idea of a daily examination of our lives to find God's presence and purpose for our lives is a solid one for any serious Catholic. The bottom line is that you try! God doesn't ask for perfect prayer, perfect self-reflection, or even perfect Children. He just asks that we try.

I urge you to take this moment of reprieve from the busyness of the outside world to examine yourself. What do you value? What's important to you? Do your words and actions show what's important to you? Only you can answer those questions, and there's no time like the present to do a deep dive into your life and values.

I hope to see you all soon. God Bless,

Regis